Get Lost in Vermont – The Vermont Sasquash

Hey, let me tell you a story about the time I ran into the Vermont Sasquatch at the brewery in Middleton. I was just trying to grab some cheap brews when I heard a strange noise coming from the back of the brewery. Being the curious (and slightly inebriated) man that I am, I decided to check it out. I stumbled through the shadows and that’s when I saw it – a giant, hairy creature standing about nine feet tall rummaging through the brewery’s supply of hops.

But this wasn’t just any ordinary creature, no sir. This was the legendary Vermont Sasquatch, rumored to roam the forests of the Green Mountain State. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was in shock as the Sasquatch sniffed each bag of hops before tossing them aside, searching for something specific. And then it found it – a bag of Citra hops, the good stuff.

The Sasquatch let out a satisfied grunt and picked up the bag, slinging it over its shoulder. Without a word, it turned and stormed out of the brewery, disappearing into the darkness.

I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. The Vermont Sasquatch, known for its mysterious visits to breweries, had finally shown itself to me. And what’s more, it seemed to have a refined palate, only interested in the finest IPAs.

So I went straight to the local newspaper office and told them my unbelievable tale. The reporters were skeptical at first, but one look at my bloodshot eyes and disheveled appearance was enough to convince them that I had definitely seen something.

And so, the story of the Vermont Sasquatch and its love for IPAs was born. It spread like wildfire and soon people from all over the state were coming to Middleton to catch a glimpse of the mysterious creature. Breweries began staying open late, hoping to attract the Sasquatch with their finest IPAs. Some even claimed to have seen the creature enjoying a pint or two at the bar before disappearing into the night once again.

I became something of a local celebrity because of it. People came from far and wide to hear my eyewitness account of the Sasquatch’s visit to the brewery. And though I may be the town drunk, I’m also the only person who’s ever seen the legendary creature up close.

The Vermont Sasquatch and its love for IPAs became the stuff of legend, told and retold for generations to come. And though some may doubt the veracity of my story, there will always be those who believe in the power of a good IPA, and the mysterious creature that roams the forests of Vermont in search of the perfect pint.

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