Ahoy there, mateys! Do ye know the tale of the Treasure of Main Street? It be a story of adventure and intrigue, of pirates and potholes, of love and loss. Are ye ready to set sail with me on the high seas of imagination? Then hoist the mainsail and let’s get going!

It all began on a dark and stormy night, when a ship called the Doctor Pepper sailed into the waters of Lake Champlain. At the helm stood a daring pirate captain by the name of Winslow Taunton, also known as the Black Snake. Taunton was a ruthless and cunning man, feared by all who crossed his path. But he had a softer side too, one that only his long lost lover knew about.

Taunton had heard tell of a great treasure hidden on a leafy hill overlooking the lake, and he was determined to be the one to claim it. He searched high and low, and after much hard work, he finally found the chest filled with doubloons and gems. But before he could dig it up and make his escape, he was struck down by a terrible illness.

Taunton knew his time was short, and so he did the only thing he could think of. He buried the treasure once more, marking the spot with a crude map and a letter for his lover, in the hope that she would one day find it and claim it as her own. And with that, the Black Snake closed his eyes for the final time, his adventure on the high seas coming to an end.

But the tale of the Treasure of Main Street did not end there. Over the years, a city called Burlington rose up above the spot where Taunton had buried the chest. And as the years passed, strange things began to happen. Commuters and residents who drove through the city complained of constant road construction and monstrous potholes that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Some said the construction workers were to blame, that they were closing the roads for months on end to fix the potholes. But others whispered of darker forces at work, of modern day raiders searching for the treasure that Taunton had left behind. They said that if you wanted to join the search party, you should hang out in the darkest bars and look for shady characters who had had a little too much to drink.

But the truth was even stranger than that. You see, the potholes and the road work were all part of a grand scheme, a scheme hatched by the Black Snake himself from beyond the grave. Taunton had always been a clever man, and he knew that his treasure would not be easy to find. So he had left behind a series of clues and riddles, hidden in the map and the letter that he had entrusted to his lover.

And as the years passed, those clues began to reveal themselves, one by one. Some said you could find the first one in the shadow of a leafy oak, while others claimed it was hidden in the swirling waters of the lake. Still others said it was buried deep beneath the city streets, waiting for someone brave enough to dig it up.

And that, my friends, is the real reason why all the roads in Burlington are so pot-holed. It’s not because of shoddy construction or bad weather – it’s because of all the treasure hunters who have been digging up the streets in search of the Black Snake’s lost treasure! So the next time you’re driving through Burlington and you hit a pothole, just remember: it could be the sign of a treasure hunter at work!

So hoist the mainsail and set sail with me